sadness breeds sadness..so they say..i'm doomed with eternal pain and sufferings..or so i think..on the matters of love..i've never quite succeeded and understood..what seemed like an elixir of eternal happiness vanished as i encroach it..like a mirage in the heat of the desert..only worse..it seemed so near..yet so far..i guess i'll never know whether i can continue to shoulder this burden of hope..
time is running out..what was a feast of fire has now dwindled to a flicker of light..a mere shadow of its former glory..i've given my all..trust me i have..what is left of me is just a carcass..soul-less..hopeless..worthless..
they say perseverance pays..but at what expense? what was a cheeky infatuation soon became a true passion..not out of desperation but pure affection..perhaps even an obsession..
time is running out..our paths seemed so clear..at one point i was so sure..only to have my hopes robbed from me..again and again..i feel used..i am confused..left in the dark..in the depths of despair..
they say perseverance pays..but how long till i loose my sense? what was a mere 'hello, how are you?' turned to OMG, i think i might like you..what happened along the way, only God has a say..its almost a destiny..but it now seems like a fallacy..
time is running out..i'm fighting against time..but how do i fight and win this battle? am I to bend time, to time-travel? if i could, surely i would..let time be a testament..of my true predicament..for i know i shall be triumphant..had i been the precedent..but what am i to say, i am but an antecedent..
they say perseverance pays..i have no choice but to concur..innately i still believe..that once and for all i can achieve..but patient i shall be..in this conquest, this glorified story..where a man cautiously awaits..with his heart under the blades..
time is running out..as a matter of fact i know..but then again time and tide will tell..if only i could cast a spell..but fight i shall and a victor i will be..
Friday, July 9, 2010
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
my other friend called Lutiri
I've got a friend called Lutiri. He's got a twin brother called Lutanan. We are the best of friends. We are so closely knit that I can't help but feel that we share the same blood. We did what all active males did. We walked, ran, cycled and even played sports together. Over the years, we have developed a certain degree of teamwork that prevented neither of us from ever being imbalanced. Many a times when Lutanan had too much burden to carry, Lutiri would always be there to support and vice versa. However recently while playing a competitive handball game, Lutiri suffered an immensely painful injury while trying to shoulder our combined weight. He was a tough soldier, but a stupid one nonetheless, as he thought that he was as strong than an ant. Having said that though, I admire his bravery and gallantry. He is now in rehab at the moment and only time will tell and dictate his future..I pray for his steadfast recovery..Some might ask, what a strange name for parents to give their twin children. Truth is their real names are Lutut Kiri and Lutut Kanan..
a friend called Damus - a true reflection
I have a friend. His name is Damus Mehdyma. As children, we grew up together in the slumps of Lark Luau Ump. He was as much of a brother to me as he was as a friend. The bond that we shared was special so much so that wherever I would go, he'd go and vice versa. At times when I was travelling alone, people would joke and ask me where my other half was. We were brothers-in-arms and partners in crime. Clearly the hardship we faced there made us to grow to become sturdy adults, equipped with the bare essentials to survive the ever challenging world that lies ahead of us. As they say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. So was the case for me and my friend Damus.
But over the years, we grew and parted ways, differing in our methodologies and goals in life. The bond that we had shared entered a new turbulent era that was rocky even at the best of times. While I remained the humble, mediocre, and nonchalant person that I was, Damus matured into a flamboyant, metro-sexual and hedonistic individual. The fact that he was good-looking, charming and eloquent with his words made him irresistible to many of our female counterparts. Initially I was unperturbed by this new character that Damus developed, but as days became months, and months became years, i slowly assumed the role of an outcast and could feel the gaping hole he has left in my life. The brother and close friend that I once had was consumed by his worldly acts and wills. So much so that he had no room to fit my mediocrity in his life. Over the years, I have adjusted to this role of an outsider, albeit not being as close as before, I still kept my vigilant eyes over his shoulders.
Over this period of time, he has grown to be adored by many girls, partly due to his good-looks, but mostly his charm and seductiveness. Flings and casual relationships with girls was his specialty and what troubled me the most was the rate of which he hopped from one 'pseudo-relationship' to another. It was almost like he was obsessed with the idea of being Giacomo Casanova, albeit a more vibrant and modern one. It was with this behaviour that he devastated the hopes of many girls especially with his broken promises of loyalty and devotion. To him however, this was just another game of which he has grown accustomed to and has learned to excel in. The fact remained, he was by far the best player in town at one point.
However, as seasons passed, so has his life unfolded. The pursuit of education has now become the centripetal force in his life and only time and again would he succumb to infatuations. Education has taken him abroad this time to the Land of Azewen where he studied to be a healer at the capital city of Kitama. He has since matured to more rational person in spite of his occasional disinhibitions. In the small town that he had inhabited, rumors spread rampantly like wildfire, and he knew if he were to be caught in one, he would be charred alive. As such, he kept to himself most of the time and slowly his repertoire and social circle developed. It was perhaps the change of climate that has affected him, but it seems that flings and meaningless relationships were no longer his cup of tea. Instead, he was looking for something steadfast, something real for a change. He was indeed a changed man. In the quest of finding it, he stumbled upon what soon became the epicenter of his life. As Giacomo Casanova met and fell for his Francesca Bruni, so did Damus. Hazel Aqua Zyrinna was her name........to be continued
But over the years, we grew and parted ways, differing in our methodologies and goals in life. The bond that we had shared entered a new turbulent era that was rocky even at the best of times. While I remained the humble, mediocre, and nonchalant person that I was, Damus matured into a flamboyant, metro-sexual and hedonistic individual. The fact that he was good-looking, charming and eloquent with his words made him irresistible to many of our female counterparts. Initially I was unperturbed by this new character that Damus developed, but as days became months, and months became years, i slowly assumed the role of an outcast and could feel the gaping hole he has left in my life. The brother and close friend that I once had was consumed by his worldly acts and wills. So much so that he had no room to fit my mediocrity in his life. Over the years, I have adjusted to this role of an outsider, albeit not being as close as before, I still kept my vigilant eyes over his shoulders.
Over this period of time, he has grown to be adored by many girls, partly due to his good-looks, but mostly his charm and seductiveness. Flings and casual relationships with girls was his specialty and what troubled me the most was the rate of which he hopped from one 'pseudo-relationship' to another. It was almost like he was obsessed with the idea of being Giacomo Casanova, albeit a more vibrant and modern one. It was with this behaviour that he devastated the hopes of many girls especially with his broken promises of loyalty and devotion. To him however, this was just another game of which he has grown accustomed to and has learned to excel in. The fact remained, he was by far the best player in town at one point.
However, as seasons passed, so has his life unfolded. The pursuit of education has now become the centripetal force in his life and only time and again would he succumb to infatuations. Education has taken him abroad this time to the Land of Azewen where he studied to be a healer at the capital city of Kitama. He has since matured to more rational person in spite of his occasional disinhibitions. In the small town that he had inhabited, rumors spread rampantly like wildfire, and he knew if he were to be caught in one, he would be charred alive. As such, he kept to himself most of the time and slowly his repertoire and social circle developed. It was perhaps the change of climate that has affected him, but it seems that flings and meaningless relationships were no longer his cup of tea. Instead, he was looking for something steadfast, something real for a change. He was indeed a changed man. In the quest of finding it, he stumbled upon what soon became the epicenter of his life. As Giacomo Casanova met and fell for his Francesca Bruni, so did Damus. Hazel Aqua Zyrinna was her name........to be continued
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